Friday, December 23, 2011

Always The Teacher Never The Student

I notice that people love being the teacher and not being the student. I've seen people who come from another art who need to learn BJJ and instead of using their time to learn that art, they waste their time explaining to the teacher and to the other students about their art, and why outside of this space they are still a capable student. But they came there to learn BJJ did they not?

Or a BJJ guy learning kickboxing, having to teach about his art. When its time to work on some technique or sparring, they may be seen in the corner showing how to takedown off of a clinch.

Or a kickboxer learning boxing, explaining, "well in my art, I stand like this because I am worried about kicks," or trying to teach kickboxing to his boxing instructor who he has hired and paid.

This doesn't just happens in martial arts. It happens in life as well. Someone who is in a really bad situation in life may give decide to lecture you on how to live. In personal training, I have clients try to teach me some work outs or weight loss tips, on their time, on their dime.

It's a form of projection. They aren't telling you, they are telling themselves they are valuable when no one cares or is questioning that. And its a waste of time and serves no purpose.

I have a thriving training business and often I will have other trainers remark how well I am doing, how they wished they were in my position. But never have any of them asked me how I got there, instead they use our time to tell me what they are doing, what they have done, what plans they have for their business, how great they are but just undiscovered, etc. None of which I care about, and its obvious they really came to me to see how I got there but that never comes up in the conversation. They get too busy talking about themselves when no one has asked.

Well I will tell you how I got here in business and to my level of proficiency in martial arts. I asked a ton of questions, I sought a lot of mentors as opposed to seeking students who I can talk about myself to. And the most important thing, I always pretended to know nothing even if I knew something in that area.

I too find myself projecting and defending myself when no one is attacking me or questioning my value. Then I realize what a waste of time it is. BJJ is about efficiency and this is not efficient. If you want to know how someone got to where they are, ask them. Don't go to them to find that out, but end up talking about yourself. Don't be that weird uncle who tells the rich nephew how he too is a great business man selling Amway and the nephew could learn a thing or two.

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